Hey, Sack Pack

If projections are any indication (which they’re totally not), this week finds most teams pretty evenly matched. Double check your shit before tonight’s game and again on Sunday and Monday (if you have any Monday players) to make the most of your potential points as situations develop (You know, like, as your players get get announced as injured and removed for the rest of the fricken year which seems to happen to someone every stupid week... I mean, of course, sad for the injured human being... obviously). But, seriously, holy shit, can we get a new batch of TEs delivered to the NFL? This one’s gone bad.

  That's a real shame.

Week Three results are in and there were a couple of upsets from the week’s projected winners. Congratulations this week to Oakland Vaders, RG3POs, Good Picks, The Astrocats, Lollipop Guild, GO BIRDS, and The Scumbags. Extra GARTS to The Scumbags who has pulled ahead to the top of the league this week! The Scumbags also pull ahead of The Fighting Fistula for most Points For. That thankfulness by the league members is short-lived however, because now that The Scumbags are at the top of the league, of course, we all hate him now. Fuck you, Scumbag. Fuck you very much.

😂

  Current standing after week 2 are as such:  but most people, whether they won or lost, woke up somewhat happy with week 2, because this was the only match-up that mattered: This isn’t because people love The Scumbags (no way, man, he’s a total scumbag), but because The Fighting Fistula is disliked more than The Scumbags (and that’s quite a feat because, like I just said, he’s a total scumbag). I would like to thank Mr. Stafford for failing to live up to his projected points this week while at the same time pulling out a win for the Lions. He’s the real MVP this week.

The Clash of the Couples Week With Oak V vs. Good Picks, Lollipops vs. BIRDS and, of course, the league’s hot it couple, Regis vs. Astrocats, this week is set to be the make it or break it week in a lot of the league’s love lives. As if that weren’t enough sexual tension, I think we’re all rooting for The Scumbags to penetrate The Fighting Fistula’s hold on first place in the league this week and that’s the perfect job for a true scumbag. Planet Express, Shady Bradys, and Amazons are all currently favored this week in their match ups, but not everyone is done tweaking their lineups so don’t count Backus to the Future, Snoochie Boochies, and RG3POs out yet. This is a prime week for some really gross private team vs. team bets you will hope to never hear about... but they’ll probably tell us all anyway. Keep that Yahoo! chat away from the kids this weekend, folks.

Ladies and gentlemen, After a ‘WTF week’ like week 1, it’s only natural to have some negative emotions flowing. But step away from the Yahoo! app, take a breath, go for a run, chill the fuck out for a minute, and remember that every week, half of the teams in the league win and half of them lose... that’s just the way it is. And after a season start like this, even most of the winners aren’t happy with how things went down in Week 1 (fuck you Fistulas). David Johnson leads the pack this week in the “fuck fantasy football” feels but there are plenty of other Sack Packers in the same Snoochie Boochie boat. I’m not saying that frustration levels shouldn’t be high, but you’ve got a whole season to make it okay. No one gets The Happy Ending with their drafted team. A good balance of making necessary adjustments (like when a first round draft player is probably out for the entire fricken season) and knowing when to stick with proven winners simply going through a tough game (L. Bell?) is alw...